We blame Canada. Don't misunderstand, Canadian people are just fine, but the country they live in is a harbor for Old Man Winter and his ilk and this just can't go on anymore. Every time we turn around there is something migrating down from Canada and stealing OUR heat. Do you know what this bitter cold does to people? Millions of American Dollars lost in productivity and millions of AMERICAN WORKERS stayed home from their paying jobs to avoid this migration of cold weather. It has to stop. What we propose is a border wall to keep these migrant weather patterns out of OUR COUNTRY! Sure we have natural barriers in some places that can help (thank you Lake Superior) but the only thing that will keep these unwanted patterns out of America is a Yuuuuge wall that they simply can't get over. We've talked to Justin Trudeau (swoon) and think he'll even pay for it! In the meantime we will set up a Go Fund Me page to buy every Lasko fan available...
Life aboard a boat in Chicago.